Wednesday, July 21, 2021

What's in a Name?

What's in a name? I'll tell you... its paperwork. 

I am knee deep in the process of changing my name. Or to put it more appropriately, up to my eyeballs in various forms, websites with instructions, phone numbers to call, and certified copies of everything. Why, oh why do they make it so complex? I feel that somewhere along the line there should have been an invention where when I make the first official change via the federal government, ya know that big group of people that is over all the other places I need to change my name- that change should just be passed on down the line to all of the other things. 

But no...apparently no one has come up with that yet. Apparently, they aren't even working on it as an option. So I've mailed things to social security, I've made two- I repeat TWO trips to the DMV and various other trips to the post office in order to get things sorted. Why two trips to the DMV you ask? Didn't you look online ahead of time for what you would need? 

Of course I did! I came so prepared with all the things, in the order I knew she would ask for them. And right before she told me something was wrong, the gatekeeper of the DMV had just commented on how prepared I was. But due to some very unclear language on their site, what I had brought with me did not meet appropriate requirements for proof of address. Here is where it should be noted that I was not changing my address. I live at the same location I lived at before I changed my name. And both names are on my marriage certificate. And the paper I went home to get had the same address as the one I'd already been holding. Mrs. Gatekeeper did not seem to grasp the ridiculousness of what they were requesting from me. How does one have mail in their new name delivered without changing their name first? 

So I was sent home to collect something else and return. Good thing the DMV is just around the corner from my house right? Oh's not. It's 20 minutes away. But I returned, and I smiled as I went back up to Mrs. Gatekeeper because I imagine people fuss and roll their eyes at her a lot- so I did that in my car instead of to her face because I feel pretty confident she didn't make these rules she has to enforce. 

Fast forward to that afternoon, feeling so accomplished to have 2 major pieces of identification with my new name complete, I looked up a list of things you need to make sure you change once married, not wanting to miss anything. I discovered that those major legal pieces that you need to change right away are only a fraction of all the things that need doing. Why is our name in so many places?! And I ask again...why is there not some magical database where now that I'm legally this new name, everyone just knows it?

So if you need me between now and December, that's what I'll be doing and even then I'm pretty sure I'll still be finding odds and ends that are not up to date. 

This was a word heavy...picture lacking post. Because there aren't many fun pictures to take when at the DMV and post office. So I will leave you with one more tidbit about life these days. 

Hubby and I spent Sunday evening with a friend at a small live music event. It's in someone's backyard and is free to anyone and everyone through word of mouth. The couple that sets it up does it out of the goodness of their hearts just so people can come together and enjoy some summer live shows which is so hospitable and lovely. It was warm but not hot, the band was excellent and company even better. 

This is the man who's name I am running all over town to have. And it makes me the most proud to be his wife and have his last name. It's weird giving up your own last name, or in my case moving it to the middle. It can feel a little bittersweer as you're writing it down on all those many forms. But looking at my new name on my new license- our name, the name for our family and future children, the name that represents our live together fills me with nothing but joy. 


  1. Gosh, I don't remember it being that difficult back in 1985, but that was before there were computers everywhere. I often, though, wished I had just kept my maiden name. It was much easier to spell - Kelly vs D'Orsaneo! Good luck getting it all done!! xo

  2. I had similar issues when we moved house. In theory our government departments are linked - you tell the tax man he tells the pension people and so on and so on. Except not when they have your date of birth wrong on their records and don't recognise you. I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get that sorted out and it wasn't even my fault! Good luck with your new name.

  3. I love everything about this and the way you handled it. Bless you, nothing is easy anymore and I do believe all DMV's are just the same, and generally not a happy group that work there. Love the picture of you and your new Hubby, just a precious couple. Blessings abundant!

  4. I love your new name (of course I loved your old name too teehee), but your new name suits you so well. You two are adorable!

  5. When I got married (48 years ago yesterday) my husband was in the Navy and I was issued a military ID with my new name (I kept my maiden name as my middle name as you are doing) and that was all the proof I needed to change everything else except my social security card. Sounds like it was a lot easier in the "olden days". I wish you luck!

  6. I do somewhat feel your pain. We simply moved all our possessions across a state line and the process of registering and filing and making sure those same agencies have triplicate copies, etc. It has taken months, but we are finally official Texans. Until there's another form. So enjoyed reading this and seeing your sweet personality shine out through it all.